Rather than kicking yourself later when you think of something clever you should have said, keep a few witty insults and comebacks at the ready, just in case. Ever wanted to be the comic who always has a comeback for everything? Now you can be! How do you get it to curl out of your nostrils like that? Was that comment meant to offend me? The only thing offending me right now is your face. You can put your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass at the same time!
I thought you already knew you were a sociopath. Ah, sarcasm. Sarcastic comebacks come in handy any time someone is behaving in a particularly annoying way. Now I have a much lower opinion of you. Clever comebacks not only showcase your distaste—they demonstrate your intelligence, too.
What could go wrong? You just have bad luck at thinking. Liked what you just read? E-mail to:.
101 Awesomely Good Comebacks for Every Occasion
Your Name:. Your Email:. Personalized Message:. Cat got your tongue? She moved me over to the side to take my place in line, giving the excuse that she just went to the bathroom.
She hit my arm trying to move me but I said what I had to and she moved away. I hate people who insult other people thinking that they are better people. I hate you if you ever insult anyone. I want to throw you out the window and make you regret what you said. I just need to comeback from her insults, I know I can learn how to bring it all back to her one day.
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Comebacks are a rare and fleeting thing, as most of us will only think of the perfect retort to someone hours after they've actually insulted us. Social media, however, has given us the unprecedented opportunity to send our comebacks to the right place at the right time and wipe those stupid smirks off of our enemies' faces!
If you've ever seen a perfect comeback captured on social media, please add it to our list — and vote for your favorites as well! This post may include affiliate links. Aaaaah Miss Johanson!!! You're my favorite teacher too even if I don't know you! Well done! She got what she deserved. I hate girls that check their bf's phones. Yes, we ALL have secrets!! Danny Bostock Report. Old Spice Report. It is a noun as well as an adjective.
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Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app.Laugh like a maniac and shut jerks up with these really funny comebacks and insults. At the page end, you can vote for your favorite comeback. Please do so and share it with all your friends today.
I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. These clean comebacks will definitely shut up any bully or jerk. So use them with vengeance against any mean person. Guys on Reddit have recounted stories with some of the rudest and meanest comebacks. Please share this page if you like them.
My cousin was in town for Thanksgiving.
My grandpa was working a sub shop at the register. If you like these burnsplease share this page with all you friends now.The Funniest Off-The-Cuff Comebacks in the History of BURNS
They would be amused. Then feel free to watch the funny video below or check out 35 funny Spongebob roasts, quotes, and jokes. Check out really funny laffy taffy jokes we found for you. Check out really funny trucker jokes that will make you laugh. Just check out the pic below.
Check out this awesome collection of funny acronyms from all over the Web. Even a happy meal can cause a funny insult. So you better have self-control and sense of humor, not a happy meal. Just look at the guys in the pic below. Check out our selection of funny blogs about life.
Laugh at really funny waiter jokes we found for you. Had a laugh with our funny insults?Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.
Do yourself a favor and ignore anyone who tells you to be yourself. Bad idea in your case. Please, save your breath. Can you die of constipation? Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so. There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement than whatever you just said.
Whenever we hang out, I remember that God really does have a sense of humor. U felt that sizzle of heat on your cheeks and concluded that those […]. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday. You may unsubscribe at any time. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement.
Daniella Urdinlaiz 1. Why not take today off? Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither. Remember that time I said I thought you were cool?
I lied. Good story, but in what chapter do you shut the fuck up? Were you born on the highway?
19 Clever Comebacks to Use in Any Argument ...
That is where most accidents happen. Please, keep talking. If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.
I was pro life. You always bring me so much joy—as soon as you leave the room.Your account is not active. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link.
50 Hilarious Comebacks That Will Shut Everyone Up (And Make You Look Like A Genius)
Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. The online dating world is a magnet for creeps, but these cunning users are sending them home packing. They ask for nudes right off the bat.
Their lack of social skills and knowledge on how to flirt makes you wonder if they're even human.
9 Comebacks for Dealing with Rude People
Their earth-shatteringly corny pick up lines hit you right in the cringe. Fear no more, because thanks to the heroic beings you see below, you'll know the best comebacks when low-lives decide to grace your phone screen. Scroll down below for our picks of the lame, the corny and the funny pick up lines and the best answers to them.
This post may include affiliate links. Heheh, guys aren't the only ones with terrible pickup lines, and girls aren't the only ones with snappy comebacks :o. KarmaFap Report. Chucapagra Report. It should be illegal to reference Shakespeare if you have no idea what the play's about.
Danika Dumont Report. Namispep Report. Puppy-Ozone Report. DarkHorse Report. Peub Report. I don't see what was wrong their the wiki linkAttaching the perfect insult to a meme to create the perfect comeback is one of the best feelings in the world. We've supplied you with 15 of the greatest insults to say to people no matter who they are! We hope these meme-sults ha, see what we did there? Have you ever noticed that when you hang out with someone, more often than not, you take a picture to post on social media?
Whether you look your best or not, you know that at one point you're going to "selfie" with your friends or crush just to prove that you were with them having the time of your life even if you weren't as happy as the picture made it seem.
When you start doing this with someone that you want to have a relationship with, it's great. You can show off how much you guys like each other, care for each other and brag about them. All seems to be going well until After all the time you've spent with them and they don't want to take your relationship to the next level.
This obviously hurts you, so you think of something witty to say next. Get it? Because we use light bulbs to illuminate the room? When you say that someone is being shady, you're not talking about the light that reflects off of them, you're talking about their actions.
This insult is genius when you really think about it. What better way to tell someone that they're incredibly shady than comparing them to a lightbulb? This insult can be taken in different ways, too. For example, you could say that they're like the shady part of the room that the light doesn't touch.
Or, you can say that because they go off and do things that they think you won't find out about, that they're missing the light bulb that's supposed to be in their head. You know the one! Like in cartoons when someone has a good idea and the light bulb illuminates above them? Your shady BF doesn't have that, now does he? We can honestly say that when we were in school, we cheated on multiple tests.
When you think about it, though, who didn't cheat on a test? No matter how you look at it, you were once a cheater. What were we supposed to do?During these challenging times, we guarantee we will work tirelessly to support you. We will continue to give you accurate and timely information throughout the crisis, and we will deliver on our mission — to help everyone in the world learn how to do anything — no matter what.
Thank you to our community and to all of our readers who are working to aid others in this time of crisis, and to all of those who are making personal sacrifices for the good of their communities. We will get through this together.
Updated: March 26, Reader-Approved References. At some point, everyone has to deal with put-downs from others. Whether it's a bully at school or a nasty coworker, we've all been insulted at some point.
Some people say nasty things to get attention, and in some cases, the best response is just to ignore them. If that isn't working though, at some point you'll need to respond. A good comeback, whether humorous or earnest, can sometimes put a stop to a bully's insults.
Together, they cited information from 13 references. In this case, several readers have written to tell us that this article was helpful to them, earning it our reader-approved status. Learn more Explore this Article Making Funny Comebacks. Using Serious Comebacks.